A self-proclaimed relationship therapist in Nigeria stirred vigorous debate online after expressing the opinion that couples without formal education often enjoy more enduring relationships compared to their educated peers. Her assertion, made in a video that has since gained widespread attention, sparked a lively conversation among West African netizens and beyond about the qualities that foster long-lasting unions.
Therapist maintains illiterate couples last longer
Though her identity has yet to be verified, clips of the therapist’s remarks flooded the internet, capturing the attention of viewers both in Nigeria and across Africa. Her opinions, circulated by
Kay Hikers Club NG on TikTok,
resonated with a sizable audience, who responded by echoing her points and sharing their own perspectives on why relationships among the less educated might be more resilient.
According to the therapist’s published views:
“People who are not educated have less expectations, and because of this, they tend to have a more lasting relationship. They don’t make demands beyond what is within their reach, unlike educated people who often compare their partners to others and place demands that, if not met, can lead to depression or mental health crises.”
She argued that partners lacking formal education are accustomed to embracing traditional marital roles without adding, in her words, “layers of unnecessary expectations” that can complicate relationships. The focus among these couples, she noted, is often grounded in meeting the basics of providing and caring within the partnership, free from external benchmarks or social pressure present in more educated circles.
“Speaking from the point of view of a therapist, it’s a fact. It’s not debatable.”
Discussing her first key argument further, she emphasized:
“Less educated people have less expectations. What exactly has been discovered recently to be the highest reason why marriages don’t work is expectations.”
Photo source: @kayhikersclubng
Source: TikTok
Building on her argument, she pointed out that uneducated couples tend to operate within the expectations set by their immediate community, whereas higher educational attainment can broaden individuals’ horizons, sometimes leading them to adopt new, and possibly more demanding, standards for romantic relationships.
“High level of unrealistic expectations because of that, it is a fact-based theory that the lower the expectations, the more realistic your relationship is as a couple, the more success and healthier relationship you will have.”
She further claimed that people without formal education are less influenced by social trends and outside pressures, allowing them to remain focused on their marriages without being distracted by shifting cultural ideals or online relationship advice.
‘When they’re not educated, they don’t expect much, they have less information, they have less knowledge, they have less peer pressure, they have less people pressing their necks.”
To underline her observations, the therapist contrasted the durability of marriages in rural settings with those in urban environments, suggesting that simpler lifestyles in villages can foster tighter family bonds in the absence of modern complications.
“It’s like a village marriage. Everybody goes to the farm, comes back home. In our knowledgeable society, when we’re standardized to a certain extent, there’s this belief of expectations both on the male and female aspects. A man is expected to deliver certain things, and if he doesn’t, he gets compared to others, becomes demoralized, and falls into depression or mental health struggles.”
also features opinions on the impossible demands that urban life can place on today’s couples.
“On the woman’s side, she should be good in bed, she should be a prostitute and a virgin at the same time. A combined set of expectations—and if she doesn’t deliver, it becomes an issue. He goes out to look for it. When you’re in the village, less expectations, you don’t care.”
Almost immediately after her remarks gained traction, social media platforms lit up with discussions, as users offered feedback and their own life stories supporting or challenging the therapist’s controversial take.
Reactions trail therapist’s take on educated couples
Reactions cutting across age, background, and marital status poured in as users reflected on the factors that influence relationship stability. Commenters referenced their own experiences as well as observed patterns within Nigerian society, highlighting the diversity of opinion on the topic.
B commented:
“This is why in some countries and cultures women are restricted from education.”
Chief Ayuk added his thoughts:
“The problem is not education , the problem is in the kind of education.”
Adepypa pointed out:
“For me it depends on the kind of exposure.. and logical reasons.’
Charles Wisdom observed:
“The independent women won’t like This.”
wisdom benjamin shared:
“I would say less exposed people last longer.”
Prince K. gave his view:
“What do we mean by ‘education’ Maybe let’s talk about formal education.”
king K shared:
“Everyday relationship talks, so you guys don’t know it was poor economy that affected families and individual relationship.’
SENA-FOD3KA contributed:
“Most men have uneducated women as wives and the marriage last like forever. But when the table turns where the woman is rather educated, she will not even consider an uneducated man. Both genders have different attitudes when it comes to achievements and success, that is the point to clear.”
Humble Nelson remarked:
“Uneducated woman arent trapped!! we have educated women who also accept second wife, even third sef, it boils down to morals and beliefs.”
sleepy_taurean posted:
“Exposed ppl should just get with exposed ppl tbh. There shouldn’t be a mismatch.”
Mosthated1 weighed in:
“The statement is true… why would you want better for yourself if you don’t know what better looks like. For people who aren’t educated they are more likely to accept certain behaviours because they don’t know better. It’s left for the people in that relationship to be willing be learn, if it’s only one party willing to learn and change they are better off leaving that relationship..”
UNILAG lecturer helps students mend relationship
In a related development, a widely seen video from the University of Lagos (UNILAG) surfaced, highlighting another approach to relationship management among Nigerian youth. In the clip, a lecturer assumed an unexpected role as a relationship mediator, intervening in a dispute between a young couple during class. The moment, greeted with cheers and applause from fellow students, underscored the importance of open dialogue and community support in resolving matters of the heart.
Such scenes bring to light the multidimensional nature of relationships in contemporary West Africa, where traditional values and modern influences frequently intersect—and sometimes clash—in shaping how individuals navigate love, marriage, and partnership.
While the therapist’s comments have opened up a national conversation, several relationship experts in the region caution against over-generalizing. According to Dr. Tola Adebayo, a family psychologist based in Lagos, “Longevity in relationships is influenced by many factors, including communication, mutual respect, and adaptability, whether the couple is educated or not. However, the pressures faced in urban and rural settings do differ, and that can affect marital dynamics.”
Recent statistics from the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) indicate that urbanization and exposure to global cultures have brought new expectations—and sometimes strains—to marriages in Nigeria’s metropolitan centers. At the same time, cultural traditions in rural communities may support family stability, but can also suppress individual expression or limit personal development, especially for women. This highlights the need for a balanced discussion that considers both positive and challenging aspects of tradition versus modernization in African relationships.
Comparing marital trends across West Africa, similar patterns appear in Ghana and other neighboring countries, where elders often emphasize the value of patience and endurance in marriage. However, as access to education and media expands, younger generations are increasingly prioritizing personal fulfillment and equality within their partnerships, sometimes leading to increased rates of separation or divorce.
As this story continues to generate conversation across digital platforms, it reminds us that relationships—whether in big cities like Lagos or rural communities—are shaped by a mix of personal values, societal expectations, and evolving cultural influences.
What’s your opinion—do you believe that educational background really makes a difference in how long relationships last, or are there other, more important factors? Share your views and experiences in the comments, and follow us for more engaging stories on relationships, culture, and trends across Nigeria and Africa.
